Random camera pictures

I finally downloaded the pictures from my phone after 9 months of owning it.
In the last post I talked about how I never take my camera out at all. But, since I always have my phone with me, I do sometimes take pictures with it.
so, here are some random photos.....


Wyatt, Shelby and Annie in the back seat of the pickup on the way to California. This was taken on the 2nd day of the trip just east of Las Vegas.

Evie in the feather boas at Joannes craft store.

Annie getting her Converse signed by Christian comedian Tim Hawkins. The kids and I saw him in Denver. If you don't know him look him up on YouTube. funny stuff.

Clay getting ready to take his first bite of corn on the cob after getting his braces off. He was very excited.

Mom's memorial rock at the pit. The quote is by Whittier: "The steps of faith fall on the seeming void but find the rock beneath." Fitting.

All this makes me think I really need to be better about taking my camera; but I am happy that my phone was there :)

I discover I like taking pictures

One of the things I have learned about myself is that I like to take pictures!
I am notorious for not having pictures of my kids, family, or any event I have practically ever been too.
But I have found I like taking pictures when I have complete and total control, everything stays where I put it, and I have a nice and quiet place to do it. Control freak? Me? whatever :)

I discovered that my basement is too dark for pictures so I moved my base of Operation Photos to the dining room table. I had a white sheet but it would stubbornly wrinkle or cause shadows I didn't want. Then I had 2 pieces of white foam board but you could see where the back and front did not quite meet up in the corner. So I bought a white tri-fold project board and use it for the base and the backdrop.

I like the way the measuring spoons are sparkly,

and the way my little bird is looking at his shadow,

and how the light is thrown by these spoon handles. Ok, the fact they are not PERFECTLY lined up bothers me, just a little bit, but I still like it overall.

Maybe someday I will actually take my camera out of the house :)

The post in which I want to cry and/or hit something

I apologize ahead of time.
This post is going to be a 'whine' moment.
Remember when this blog was only going to be about happy things, my favorite things; great finds, crafts, etc??
well, forget that for a moment or just ignore this entry.

I am tired, grouchy, emotional, and in an overall bad mood.
The dogs are hiding in the kitchen, Annie is hiding in her bedroom, Ken is hiding in his office, Clay is hiding at a friends house, and Wyatt is blissfully unaware of the black cloud and silence that has descended over mi casa. I am in the kind of mood where I don't even say anything, everyone just knows to lay low for the evening. I want to cry or hit something but I don't have the energy for either one.

First thing this morning I was missing my debit card, then there was a problem with an Etsy sale (which I had a feeling was going to go bad and it did, don't ask), then I feel like I can't do anything right at new job (which is my own fault since I expect perfection out of myself and then crumble when it turns out I am human and make mistakes), then dinner out which by that time I was a mess so it wasn't fun and they sat us in a back corner next to a stack of empty chairs, an enormous stack of plastic cowboy hats full of peanuts and a guy who sang really loud along with the Johnny Cash song playing in the background, then a movie (Megamind) which either wasn't funny AT ALL or I may have not heard any laughter from within my fort of self pity (((insert violins here))) then JUST NOW I can't find my wallet and throw the pants I had on this morning at the wall while saying "why is everything so damn hard??!!??"

Ken and I did go to a couple estate sales this morning and I found a couple good things. An entire storage box full of all sorts of ribbon for $5. For some reason I love ribbon so that made me happy. And I drove home without crashing, so considering how everything else today went we will count that as a win too.

now, I am going to open a diet Dr Pepper, turn off the computer and go read more in a book called The Bells. It is SO good and deserves it's own happy post.

promising happier posts to come,
Tanya

screeching halt

After going into garge sale overdrive last weekend I feel like I've come to a screeching halt.
I started my new part-time job as a court clerk on Monday, and have not been very productive.
I have not been to the thrift store or sewn a stitch at all this week. yuck.
On the good side I have sold some things I already had and put more pieces for sale on both eBay and etsy, so all is not lost.

I had to sneak this picture of a pumpkin Annie carved. She had a sticky stencil you put on the pumpkin for a guide. The funny part is that she only had this huge knife to use and I told her that she wouldn't be able to do it since the knife was too big. So, being her little crazy self, she found a very large safety pin and used that. Yes, she carved this with a safety pin!! It took her about an hour but she got it done.

Nobody should ever tell her that she can't do something!

Garage Sale overload

I am on garage sale overload! I went to a estate sale on Friday that was so cool that I spent 2 hours there (and had to call Ken for backup and additional cash) and then I went back today for half price day and found even more fun things!

Here is a small sampling:

A really cool art deco pair of orange glass candlesticks. These are heavy and sleek. So very cool and I LOVE the color!

A diminutive bird to hold recipes or place cards. She is just over an inch tall and so cute! I found 2 of these.

A neat old moonstone and brass set of screw-back earrings. I love that these are so detailed, they have intricate filigree on the backs. So pretty!

This is a very small peek at what I found at that great sale. If that is what estate sales are always like I am going to make sure that I attend many more.

but then, the garage sale find of the year..

Ken, Annie and I pulled up to a garage sale not expecting much. It was the last one that we were going to before heading home. Their advertisement just mentioned 'household goods and a washer and dryer set'.

I looked around and was happy to see two pieces of Frankoma pottery in the Ranch pattern. I picked them up for cheap, found a neat fall leaf table runner and went to pay.

There was a table with 4 brightly colored bowls, slightly dusty and marked from 7-15 dollars each. I looked at them, and then decided to pass since I had spent too much money at the estate sale.

As we drove away I told Ken I should have bought them, even though I didn't really know what they were. I decided to pull out my phone and Google what I remembered of the largest bowl. I knew I had seen the style before but couldn't remember anything about it until my Google query pulled up "carnival glass". A quick, more detailed Google later and I knew I had to get back to that sale.

We were almost home so dropped Ken off and then Annie and I went back.

The bowls were still there (thank God)

The lady explained they were her husband's grandmas bowls. The grandma had died and they didn't like the bowls so they decided to sell them. I couldn't pull my money out fast enough and 40 dollars later I held myself back from running to the car with them in my arms.

Here is one of them.

This is the largest, and ironically, the least valuable. I bought a carnival glass book and have spent about 2 hours on the internet researching this find. This one is a Grapes and Cable pattern by Northwood.

Just look at the purple glow when you hold it up to sunlight!

I am hoping to get about $80-$100 out of this one. It is the only one that I have listed on eBay. The other 3 I am trying to decide if I should list and hope for the best, or contact an auction house specializing in carnival glass. One of the bowls, ironically the $7 one, is worth at least $300 and maybe more depending on the color classification.
This new hobby/money making adventure of mine is just like a full-time job but I am enjoying it way more!

Speaking of job, I start a part-time job doing court clerk work on Monday! Nervous about it but hoping for the best :)

Finds of the weekend

While searching for items to sell, I am discovering that I have 'theme' weeks. One week a bunch of nice sweaters with price tags still on them. Another week books, yet another old kitchen items.
This week it is glass.
When I started I DID NOT want to sell glass. I was terrified of shipping something breakable but then I gravitated towards glass, pottery, and china pieces . And, after the cats knocked over a couple not pieces (luckily not too valuable) I decided it's not the end of the world if something does happen. I don't want unhappy customers, and I don't want to damage anything, but I also don't want to not do something because I am scared. I enjoy the smoothness of glass, the weight of a blown glass piece, the delicateness of it.

This week I found glass pieces that I love, here are a few of them.

A blown glass bowl. The center is a sapphire blue shading to a clearer blue and then fading into a emerald green at the edges. Its about 11" across and 4" tall, not overly large.
It reminds me of a morning glory.

A Swedish blown glass mouse.
I used to have a collection of Swedish blown glass birds that I loved, but over the years they were misplaced or broken. This little lilac guy reminded me of how I used to hold my glass birds in my hand and feel the round little plump glass tummies.

A squat little mushroom, not glass but (I think) alabaster. It is smooth and heavy, about 3" tall and just fun to hold.

A blown glass mushroom. I like the transparent, delicate blue.

A set of two miniature pink depression glass sherbert cups. I believe that these are the Cameo design. There is a shield with a faint dancing figure inside, swags and garlands. From the research I've done these are probably modern production and are the appropriate size for the American Girl line. I just love how tiny they are!

I also found an Irice pink glass perfume bottle and a vintage cup, saucer, and plate with a pinecone pattern.
I did pick up a few non-glass items this week too; vintage Strawberry Shortcake napkins, new cross-stitch kits, and Veggie Tales movies (tempted to keep these for myself, I LOVE Veggie Tales)

So now I am going to busy the next couple days getting all my goodies listed on my eBay and Etsy stores!

We also went to see Clay and Annie march in the Marching Band state championships. Their band got 3rd in their division. Good job guys!

Hope you all had a good weekend!

Placemat Purse

When Ken and I out at garage sales the other day I found a really cool set of placemats. I loved the gingko pattern and the fact that it was a brown and light blue print, currently my favorite color combination. I knew right away I was buying them and I was gonna take them home and attack them with scissors and a sewing machine.
I am SLOWLY teaching myself to sew. I bought a book (The Bag Making Bible by Lisa Lam) about making purses and bags about a week ago. I am mainly interested in how to make pockets, attach zippers, and lining. I didn't use any of those skills with this project :) but now I know what a gusset is, and I used a technique to help me make the bottom of this purse square.

After a phone call to Tami to receive some motivating words, I started.

The placemat was already lined, which was great, until I had to attach the magnet snap closure. I had to rip a seam to attach it. But no big deal, with my mad Green Bottom Bag making skills I managed to create a shape that passes for a purse!


Then I fabricated handles and the flap closure piece.

Then I got all kinds of crazy and made a bottom for the inside of the bag. I took a scrap of fabric and wrapped a piece of plastic canvas, then stitched through all the layers to secure.

It turned out pretty cute and I learned some lessons to apply on the next one. I still have a few more bags to create from this fabric, stay tuned!

Craft of the day

While cruising around the web awhile back I came across a site that had directions for a book wreath. I kindof forgot about it until yesterday when I was thinking about crafts to do (like I need any more) and I decided to try it.
I couldn't remember where I saw the idea, but I knew the jist of it so I bought a foam wreath while I was in town.
As a side note, Rachel and Addy spent the day with me. We went to a craft show, Joannes, Ross, Hobby Lobby, picked up the kids, and then came to my house for a 4 1/2 hour marathon session of crafting. Rachel beaded really cute hair clips!
I didn't take any action pictures of the wreath making, but here is the finished product.

It is fairly big, I think the wreath form was either 10" or 8". I took the pages out of an old book I didn't want, inked the edges with brown, then rolled and glued. The only glue I had was an old-school HOT glue gun. I only have 1 blister this morning on my thumb so I think I did pretty good. I don't really know how long it took me, but we watched How to Train Your Dragon and Finding Nemo before I was done. I think I am going to make a couple more to take to craft shows. Now that I have the process down it should go much faster. I really like the way it almost looks like a giant Zinnia!

8 years

Eight years ago I came to a fork in the road.
Only it wasn't my choice of which way to go.

I now am on the path without a mom.
You know how you hear how if you want to get pregnant all you see are pregnant people? Well, when you don't have the mom that you were very close too it and you are shopping by yourself, it seems like everyone is shopping with their mom. Old people with their even older moms teetering down the aisles, a young man trying to find cookware for his new place and his mom telling him that one was a piece of junk, a young woman with her mom and her baby browsing the childrens books. And then I remember that I have memories of my own with my mom, memories that not everyone has gotten to experience and I smile and keep moving down my own path.

Button magnets

I made myself some vintage button magnets a few weeks ago for my idea board. I really liked them, so decided to make some to sell on Etsy.


The main problem I had the first time was that I accidently knocked one over and it set off a chain reaction of half-done magnets sticking to each other and making a gluey mess. So, this time I got smart and covered the back of a mini-muffin pan with tin foil and stuck each magnet on their own dome.

Worked very well I might say!

I also have vintage checker magnets drying and am in the process of designing display cards for all of them. Fun way to spend a Monday afternoon :)

Favorite way to post on eBay

Rachel and I hit some garage sales yesterday. I was on the lookout for some more things to list on eBay. I did find this cute Sheffield Strawberries 'n Cream casserole dish and some glasses. I am kicking myself over not picking up a stack of old car owner manuals. Oh well, live and learn.

I haven't done too bad selling on eBay, about $250 in a month. I hated listing things though and thought my postings looked amateur and unprofessional....until last night!

I took the time to really look at a site called Sellers Sourcebook. It is almost like blogging now, I get to choose a template and everything is organized and much cuter.

Here are some examples:

Oregon Mills Wool Blanket blah boring yawn

Arizona Blakely Glasses pretty! eyecatching! professional!

I will be going through as listings expire and updating my old style. At least now when I am listing I feel like I am doing a much more professional job.

Pillows!

Just listed a couple of pillows on my Etsy page.
This one is made out of a flour sack. Great material to work with! It feels so crisp and runs through the machine like a knife through butter.
Compared to our bags, I can whip these babies out in no time at all! It feels great to get things done so fast.

We are also making burlap pillows, a little rough to sleep on but look fantastic! No pictures of those yet but soon! We are printing different designs on the burlap, so far crows, pumpkins, crowns, bees, and keys. They look really cool.

I am going to have Annie draw some orginal artwork for an 'Anneliese' line of pillows too. Keeping everyone busy!

not much happening

Not much happening around here, just decorating for Halloween.

Favorite things.. iPhone app

I am addicted to Apple products, I never thought I would be and remember laughing at Wyatt when he was trying to convince me to go Apple instead of PC. Now I regret that.


My favorite thing right now is my iPhone. I have had it for about 6 months and love it more all the time. (We did have a short time this week when my phone decided not to tell me about my emails. I'm not sure what brought this on, but it started working again so I won't hold that against it)


I just discovered an eBay selling app. Since I have been trying to sell things on eBay to earn a little extra money during my time off, I am so excited to see this app! It will be great for things that only need very simple pictures and not too much detail for the description, but I really think it is going to be a time saver.

one of my ebay listings

I can also research something on the app to see if it is worth my time and money to list it. This is going to be so helpful! I have been standing in the middle of thrift stores lately trying to open Safari to research stuff. Its great that I can just act like I'm texting and no one is the wiser, but this app is going to make it much faster--Yeah!
I can also check on my auction status to see how much money I am making!
I really am in love with my iPhone and think it is worth every penny.

Fantasy vs Reality

When I knew I was quitting my job I had a vision in my mind. A vision of how my life would be so awesome; so incredibly all about me. I would do things for my family, of course, but I would be so centered and in such a state of bliss that it would be a pleasure and a privilege to serve them.
But I have seen reality, and reality is slightly different than I had pictured.
These are actual examples of the polar opposites I have experienced in the last 2 weeks.

Fantasy-- I pictured myself spending my days floating around in a gauzy gown and a golden halo, or at least in a fashionable cute outfit 4 sizes smaller than I wore on the last day of work.
Reality--Driving 80 miles per hour down the interstate in my pajama pants because I didn't get up early enough to change before driving the kids to school

Fantasy--Preparing nutritious meals from scratch, using my home-canned salsa, free range beef, and fresh homemade tortillas
Reality--freaking out when I see the flames in my oven caused by wayward tator tots catching on fire while I am cooking frozen pre-made Buffalo chicken strips 50 degrees hotter than the package says to because we are all starving and just want to eat.

Fantasy--Reading on my Kindle for hours, cozied up with a soft warm blanket and a ice cold diet cherry Pepsi. I am wearing my fuzziest shirt and fluffiest socks. The weather is misty and slightly drizzly.
Reality--Having a melt down because it is 90 degrees outside and none of my tshirts are clean. I am wearing a stained (actually bleached out) black tshirt that I dug out of the dryer before it is dry. I don't know where my Kindle is because I haven't had time to read. I am sitting in my sons 1998 Pontiac with no air conditioning. The sunroof is letting the sun beat down on my head while I wait in the parking lot for the kids to get out of school.

Fantasy--My house is clean. It sparkles. The dishes are never in the sink. The floor never needs mopped. You can actually see the top of the dining room table, the coffee table, and the end table. I have so much time that I hang the kids' clothes in their closets.
Reality--Annie just asked me where her high school tshirt is. I told her I remember washing it. She asked if it was in the wash or in her room. I told her I didn't know, to just go look. I can see the tops of the tables because I made Clay carry all the crap to the basement so I wouldn't have to look at it.

Don't get me wrong. I really like the changes in myself and my family since I quit! I am so thankful that I have this time to recharge and look at where I want my life to go. I just find it interesting that reality doesn't listen to me very well. :)

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

I need to start telling you what I want for Christmas.
and I need to tell you I want, no I NEED Born shoes!! I really dig the Black Argyle.
OMG these are A. dor. a. ble!

I'm pretty sure if I don't get them I might die or something even worse might happen to me and it will be your fault.
Say hi to Rudolph and Mrs Claus,
Tanya

favorite -- Clay quote

The other day Annie and I decided to make shortbread. Annie was going to run into Albertsons to get the supplies and a few other things. "Butter" I told her about 5 times, "make sure the package says butter on it".
When we got home I opened the package and saw the packages that said indicated the contents were 'spread'.
"Annie, I told you butter!" I heaved a sigh. She said that she thought it was all the same. (this from the child who didn't know what a cigarette lighter in a car was). Annie was upset, I told her it was fine and we would make it work.
Clay witnessed this exchange and then went to get another bag from the car. When he came back in he had a funny look on his face and said "mom, I bet I know what Annie is thinking".
"What?" I said, annoyed.
"I can't believe it's not butter" he said.
I almost died right there in the kitchen. Annie was not so amused.

Favorites -- Book

Recently I was listening to a favorite podcast of mine, Rick Steves, when he interviewed an author by the name of Leslie Carroll. I loved that she was so passionate about her new book (pun intended :) and I was inspired to pick it up for me Kindle.
The book is Notorious Royal Marriages.

I just have to say-- you need to read this if for nothing else than the Napoleon section. Poor Josephine.

I loved this book! The book was set up chronologically, with each chapter devoted to a different royal marriage. The chapters were well filled out, with excerpts from letters and publications from the time. This was one book I wish I didn't finish so quickly.
I have been reading and watching anything I can get my hands on about the Tudors recently. I have always had a hard time keeping all the wives straight in my (well attached thank you) head. I, for some reason, thought there was eight wives. Which when reading all the names with the Annes and the Janes etc, only thoroughly confused me.

This book gave each wife of Henry VIII her own chapter, which was helpful in squaring them all away in my mind. I have been watching The Tudors TV show, and to see that the show had pulled quotes and information from the past and wove them into the TV show was very cool.

There are stories from Italy, Russia, Germany, and France; just to name a few. I never realised how very intertwined all the royal families really are until I read this book.

The last couple discussed was Prince Charles and Diana. It was so interesting to look at their relationship in comparison against all the other stories I read. We really are not so different from our ancestors at all.
I highly recommend this saucy book for all the great details, fun gossip, and for each very entertaining story it presents..

Ken becomes a convert

Ken has been supportive through my quitting my job and all the hare-brained ideas I have to make money, but today Ken may have caught the reselling bug.

We were killing some time at Goodwill, where I have been pretty lucky finding things to sell, when out of the corner of my eye I see Ken with a big grin on his face walking up to me.

In his hand he held an Oberon leather day timer.

Ken is knew it was worth something because this is the same brand as my Kindle cover he bought for me last Christmas.

I practically ripped it out of his hand to look at the price, turning it over I saw the yellow sticker that said .99 cents. I about fainted. Yeah Ken! This baby new is $80!! We are sure to make some money :)

I told him that he was my new Goodwill shopping partner, so he may live to regret his find, but for now anyway we both felt lucky.

Baking = chemistry

I spent the day with Tami and Rachel on Friday trying to find ultimate cupcake recipes.
Good news, we found a yummy vanilla one.
Bad news, we failed chemistry when making chocolate ones.
Imagine; 3 friends merrily baking away..
all the ingredients bought, organized, measured, mixed



Cocoa powder added (we are not doing boxed cakes here people)
The delicious chocolate scent filling the house.
We are bakers!
We are making cupcakes!
We rock!

Then, proudly opening the oven door to encounter this.

oh man

not good

What happened???

Well, near as I can figure we have the baking soda/baking powder/cocoa mixture wrong for the cups we were using. Nestle cocoa powder is natural, not dutch-processed. And those are two very different things. Natural powder is an acid and that reacts with baking soda to create LEAVENING (refer to above picture).

So today, I am going to go into the kitchen again and try these 1 more time, paying close and strict attention to exact measurements.

Who knew that chemistry class I got a C in would come back and bite me like this?

Podcast I love

I spend a lot of time in the car. The car and I have a very long and lasting relationship. Just the other day I made 4 trips to town and back. #1 drop the kids off, #2 Ken and I went out and ate, #3 pick the kids up, #4 go to work. It would have been 5 trips but I chose to sit in the school parking lot and wait instead of drive home and drop off one child and then go back and get the other since they got done at different times. Total time in the car that day including the sitting and waiting part?--about 4 1/2 hours. I am not kidding.
The best part about being in the car so much? PODCASTS!!
I love them; I listen to a Disney World one, a travel one, a history one, a NPR one, and a couple book ones. I only listen to them when I am alone in the car otherwise I find myself telling everyone to be quiet so I can hear the podcast. Children do not take kindly over me essentially telling them I want to hear a stranger talk about Disney World over their minute by minute stories of band camp. But I digress.

My Favorite book podcast is Books on the Nightstand.

The format consists of 2 reps from Random House talking about books they love, books they can't wait for the listeners to read, and other bookie type news.

I am not sure if they only talk about Random House books but regardless I love the format and get many ideas for books to read.

Their reviews of books I sometimes disagree with and I get the feeling they do not love the whole ebook topic but overall I really enjoy the discussion.

The podcasts are released weekly and are usually around thirty minutes long.

If you don't have a mp3 player you can also listen to the podcast from your computer. Do yourself a favor and check it out, it makes those long drives and wait times fly by.

ETA

omgomgomg!! check out the comments people...One of the podcasters, Michael Kindness, left a comment! (((fanning myself)) now that does it, you have REALLY got to check out the podcast, get to clicking!

Epic fail of volume and scale

Don't you love how life always teaches you lessons?
Here are some lessons I learned just in the last hour!! I know you are impressed but read on dear reader and I will impress you even more. no really
When reading a recipe, the recipe may not indicate exactly how much of something you might end up with.
In this case, I am working with a established cake recipe. I wanted to make a test batch to see if this is a good recipe and passes my taste test for possible commercial cupcake sales.
While measuring, mixing and stirring I missed several clues about how many cupcakes I would end up with.
Here are a few that seem important now:
1) how many cups of batter will the recipe make? This will mean nothing to you when you don't know how may cups it takes to make a dozen cupcakes.
1) Be suspicious about recipes that say 'grease and flour the PANS'.
2) 6 cups of flour should be a clue as to how much a recipe will make.
3) another clue is 12 egg whites.
4) 2 cups of milk? In retrospect that seems like a lot!
5) when beating the eggs white to a 'stiff but not dry state', ahem, be aware that this will cause 12 egg whites to grow to approximately 1000 times their previous volume. Then during the next step of 'gently fold the eggs whites into the batter' a note would have been nice indicating that I would need a bathtub to hold everything. (clean up would be way easier)

Here is a lovely pic (be kind enough to dismiss the messy bowl and handle of the scraper..they went through a lot). This is after 1 batch was put in the oven. Hard to tell the scale of the bowl, but trust me when I say there are at least 4 dozen more in there.

I just pulled the first batch out and put in the next. There is for sure at least 3 more batches to go. This may be a long process since I only have 1 cupcake pan. So far they look nice but I haven't tasted them yet.

Live and learn people, live and learn.

favorite friday--garage sales

Well, I missed a couple of my favorite Fridays.

But I did go to some garage sales today and found a few goodies.

I bought about 3 dozen assorted canning jars for .10 a jar. I felt bad though. It was at a estate sale and the poor little lady who the items belonged to was so old and cute. I felt like I was stealing from her. I did buy a couple of other things from her but cannot post them here because they are destined for Christmas gifts

One of the cool things about garage sales is finding things you never knew about before. I bought this 8" tall Anne Boleyn by Peggy Nesbit doll for cheap. I Googled it real quick on the old iPhone while I was at the sale, and while it's not worth a lot of money, I think it was a pretty good purchase. Turns out that Peggy Nesbit is a doll making company in England and makes historical dolls. If you were a huge Tudor fan, you could get a set of Henry XIII and all of his wives. Who knew? I believe this one is from the 1960's. She still has her tag and orginal box.

I decided I need a estate sale mentor. We went to one where you had to get a piece of paper that gave you a time to return and all the people waiting there looked like they would rip you limb from limb to take something out of your hands. We skipped that one but it would be interesting to check one of those out someday.

New Beginnings

Well, I did it.
Told my supervisor that I am quitting at the end of August.
I think I shocked her and kind of shocked myself too.
I can't decide if I am stupid or brave.
But I do know that I am relieved.
I feel like I am committing financial suicide (that whole permanent solution for a temporary problem thing). But on the other hand I know that the problems were not temporary ~evidenced by my 10 year attempt at driving myself into the grave.
I feel like all my emotions are raw and I cannot wait to heal.
I am so thankful for the support from my family and friends. No one has tried to talk me into staying at my job. They all have expressed happiness for me.
Which speaks volumes. I must be one unhappy ticked off puppy for everyone to be like 'thank God, you are going to feel so much better'. I hear the unspoken part in their minds that is saying 'maybe you won't be so unpleasant to be around now'.

First order of business--take a deep breath and realise this part of my life is over. Step off this treadmill after running like mad for 10 years. You know how everything feels all wonky when you first get off a treadmill? That's how this feels.


Second order of business--keep my eyes open for a part-time job to supplement Ken's income enough to be comfortable.

Do you know what it's like when
You're scared to see yourself?
Do you know what it's like when
You wish you were someone else
Who didn't need your help to get by?

Do you know what it's like
To wanna surrender?

I don't wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don't wanna live like this today
Make me feel better, I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender
Never surrender

Do you know what it's like when
You're not who you wanna be?
Do you know what it's like to
Be your own worst enemy
Who sees the things in me I can't hide?

Do you know what it's like
To wanna surrender?

~lyrics to Never Surrender

by Skillet

Favorites...Quotes

I love quotes.
They can come from the craziest places and still touch something in me.
One night I was watching the Suze Orman show, she was talking to someone about something they couldn't afford and she said "say no out of love instead of yes out of fear".
Whoa.
That one struck close to home and not in the way that Suze meant it. How often do I take the easy route out of fear? Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of what my kids/husband/friends/family might think. It made me realize I say 'yes' far too often, and it is hurting me.
I used to have a lot less fear than I do now. I did things with abandon, basing my decisions on what I wanted to do. I was irresponsible, impulsive, and didn't think about the future.
Somewhere along the way that changed: I 'grew up' and became a contributing member of society. Which is good, unless you swing the total other direction and become; a workaholic, a recluse, avoiding any form of interaction with other people, sacrificing family and self on the alter of money. The workaholic beast started eating me, beating me up on a daily basis--making me want to take all the overtime I can, make more money, keep going until I dropped. Well I give up. I can't do it and I am going to finally say NO out of love.
It's scary but I've been there before. I am afraid but the darkness of the unknown is less scary than the bright light that is shining in the belly of the beast now.
Ready??? JUMP

Favorites...Books on Kindle

Looking over the books I have read on my Kindle over the past year one book really stands out in my mind. Shadow Divers by Robert Kurson.

It is the true story of an underwater investigation trying to identify the origin of a WWII era submarine found off the coast of the United States.

I loved the intertwining stories of the men working to identify the wreck and the men who served aboard the sub.

A similiar book on my to-be-read list is Blind Descent by James Tabor. I can't wait to click into this book about rivals exploring the worlds deepest caves. Can.not.wait!

Favorite Friday--my favorite thing this week

I started using allrecipes.com a few months ago when I was craving soup. It is a great resource for just about any recipe you can want. I usually find myself in the chocolate dessert section :)

When I got tired of my un-organized recipe system I spent a few hours gathering favorite recipes from all my bookmarks on the internet and entering them on my personal recipe box. It's great to have 1 place to go and find everything gathered in a easy format.

I am slowly gathering and entering recipes that I have here in the house to cut down on the normal "I think it is written on the back of an envelope and I put it in the junk drawer" search.
I have an app on my iPhone that lets me pull up my recipes wherever I am. It's great for those impromptu grocery runs to help me make sure I pick up everything I need.

Here is my recipe for chicken tortilla soup. I LOVE this stuff and the leftovers always get eaten up.

Favorites..movies

I love it when I watch a movie that just looks interesting,

and then it opens up a new world to me.

I just watched the French film Seraphine and know this one will stick with me. I started the movie not really even aware that it was based on an actual artist (I actually paused the film and Googled her to be sure it was).

Seraphine was a housekeeper; poor, relatively unattractive, bland and forgettable. But she had a secret, in the evenings she painted. She was first discovered by German art critic and dealer Wilhelm Uhde who encouraged her to keep painting.

The first World War interrupted her path to fame when Uhde had to leave the area, concerned about his safety. She labored on in poverty continuing to paint with the supplies she made or doled out her pennies for. Eventually, Uhde reentered her life and better financial times followed.

She ended up sinking into mental illness and being hospitalized for the rest of her life. There is some disagreement on the date of her death. Udhe reported that it was in 1934, but other sources state is was in 1942. I believe that it was the later date as it was probably more profitable to Udhe to say 1934 to avoid the mental illness/hospitalization issue.

Seraphine won 7 Cesar awards (French Oscars) including the award for best film.

Welcome!

Welcome to The Poppy Petals!
Join me and we will discover my new favorite things; garage sale finds, recipes, crafts and more.
Check out The Poppy Petals on Etsy, Facebook (both under ThePoppyPetals) and eBay (under ThePoppyPetals2010).
I look forward to getting this on the road!